on pushing forward

I’ve had to deal with down time on the work front recently. An occurrence in the restaurant/catering biz that’s nerve-wracking when you’re trying to navigate the often unpredictable, seasonal nature of work and still make ends meet. Admittedly there’s a sense of relief in having some respite from long, grueling hours, but it’s short-lived. In my case, that relief doesn’t come with an over-stuffed financial cushion to park my arse on.

So, my survival instincts kicked into full-on offense mode last week. I needed to drum up more work—immediately. Rather than succumb to the terror of the what-ifs (what if I can’t find work? what if I can’t take care of my family? what if the ground opens and swallows me whole?) before I even gave fear a chance to proliferate, I walked in cold to a restaurant I thought I’d enjoy working in and inquired about opportunity. The upshot of this was a sit down the following day with the owner, a resume review and a two-hour chat. I hesitate to say job interview, because in the restaurant/catering biz there’s nothing orthodox about the interview process in a kitchen—at least in my experience. In smaller, owner-run businesses, HR protocols are … well … different. Or non-existent. So you roll with it, whatever the “it” is: unconventional interviews, immediate start dates, on-the-fly training and any, or all, or none of those things. There’s adaptability or there’s sudden death. And there’s nothing in between.

Tomorrow I’m stepping into something completely new. A different house, a new crew, an entirely new menu to learn, another approach to food. Kitchens and kitchen culture are a breed of their own. The intensity creates intense relationships—for good or ill—with all the function and dysfunction of a family. You love, you tolerate and sometimes, you walk away. And when you do, the unknown soon becomes the familiar. The fear is muted by strength you hadn’t quite recognized in yourself.

So work will be an interesting patchwork of projects: the restaurant kitchen, existing catering work, and an independent project that’s largely been kept hushed while waiting for the final nod of approval that says: give’er! I’m excited. I’m also a cocktail of deep-in-the-belly nerves with a twist of confidence and a hefty splash of determination to push the hell forward.

In the meantime, I take photos. Because the practice of observing beauty in the ordinary, catapults me—unfailingly—into a state of gratitude.

apples-for-jam

forsythia

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deco-figurine

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photos by: bliss {in images}

pillow time

It seems entirely greedy—given that I’ve just had time off work—to say that I’m looking forward to the up-coming long weekend. But the truth is I am. Oh, how I am. I was back in the café kitchen today and felt off my game. Nothing disastrous, no “sky is falling” fumbles (in fact, my gluten-free, fudgy brownies were said to be most excellent!) but my momentum was lagging and I certainly wasn’t feeling sharpish. My lovely boss-woman (truly, she is) popped in and told me I rather looked like a zombie. Apparently I wasn’t aware at all that I looked so pale. Fridge reflections can be deceiving it seems. At any rate, given the gift of an early afternoon leave, I’m back with the duvet and the cat. And the throat lozenges and the ginger-lemon concoctions …

The house is unusually quiet, sleep beckons and so does the weekend. Crossing fingers the Easter Bunny has a game plan figured out.

littlest-buddha

photo by: bliss {in images}

a fresh start

Hello, January!

I don’t make New Year’s resolutions, but it can be said that I do have resolve. And as we’re standing on the precipice of a new year, there are some things that I’m absolutely determined and excited to pursue, change and tweak: new job opportunities on the food frontier; exploring creative projects (of the edible and non-edible variety); health and well-being (yoga mat, oh how I’ve missed you!) and cracking the covers on a stack of books to indulge in some pleasure-reading. Oh, and a couple of craft-y projects to complete on the home front this week: making a wooden tray for my claw-foot tub and refinishing a thrifted drafting table. I’ve dragged my feet on both and it’s time to jump!

I think hibernation Canadian winters lend themselves to getting stuff done at home. I’ll keep you posted. The sooner I begin that tray, the sooner I can load it with a few of those books and call the tub mine for an hour . . .

What have you resolved to do (or not do)?

bliss

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photo by: jennilee marigomen for PIG magazine